Monday, January 21, 2013

Internet stamps are forever stamps...

Executive decision: Short Letters are back. And I'm making them a Monday thing. I like writing them, y'all seemed to like reading them. Let's just see how long this lasts.

::knuckle crack::

Photo by J. Paxton Reyes

Dear Charlotte,

Thank you for being such a dame of a city. IJ and I had a last minute guest come into town this weekend and you showed off the goods like a red light district window girl. It made being a host a pleasure. 

Sincerely,
Danielle
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Dear Whisker Wars,

What. The. Hell. You are a reality show about the competitive beard and mustache circuit. I didn't even know that was a thing, let alone that they made a show about it. And yet I watched the whole season on Netflix. I now know what an Alaskan Whaler is. Thanks, I guess.

Sincerely,
Danielle
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Dear food blogs,

Cauliflower is not any of the following things: 
Rice
Mashed Potatoes
Shrimp
Chicken
Pizza dough
Cheesecake

Cauliflower is cauliflower. Stop trying to make it other things!

Sheesh,
Danielle
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Dear Bonus,

I'm sorry I have had to give you eye drops this week. I would ask you to forgive me but I'm pretty sure you've already forgotten since dinner has happened at least once since.

Pets,
Mom
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Dear 49ers & Ravens,

Congrats. Now I can make it official that I don't care about this year's Superbowl at all. Not even a little.


Sincerely,
Danielle
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Dear cousin who chose to draw a dick in our wedding guest book,

You could have just written a message. Or not written anything. But no, you had to go above the call of duty. That's okay. We're related now. I have the rest of our lives to dish out payback.

Sincerely,
Your new cousin.

...p.s. The fact that it was a photo guest book kinda blew your cover.


4 comments:

  1. LOL... It wouldn't be a wedding without a dick drawing. Or something. Also Whisker wars is the most addicting show EVER. It makes me wish I had (more) facial hair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would you style it into a bicycle like that one German guy?

      Delete
  2. You should always gift your cousin teabags from now on. =P

    ReplyDelete