Internet stamps are forever stamps...

Executive decision: Short Letters are back. And I'm making them a Monday thing. I like writing them, y'all seemed to like reading them. Let's just see how long this lasts.

::knuckle crack::

Photo by J. Paxton Reyes

Dear Charlotte,

Thank you for being such a dame of a city. IJ and I had a last minute guest come into town this weekend and you showed off the goods like a red light district window girl. It made being a host a pleasure. 

Sincerely,

Danielle

-----------------

Dear Whisker Wars,

What. The. Hell. You are a reality show about the competitive beard and mustache circuit. I didn't even know that was a thing, let alone that they made a show about it. And yet I watched the whole season on Netflix. I now know what an Alaskan Whaler is. Thanks, I guess.

Sincerely,

Danielle

-----------------

Dear food blogs,

Cauliflower is not any of the following things: 

Rice

Mashed Potatoes

Shrimp

Chicken

Pizza dough

Cheesecake

Cauliflower is cauliflower. Stop trying to make it other things!

Sheesh,

Danielle

-----------------

Dear Bonus,

I'm sorry I have had to give you eye drops this week. I would ask you to forgive me but I'm pretty sure you've already forgotten since dinner has happened at least once since.

Pets,

Mom

-----------------

Dear 49ers & Ravens,

Congrats. Now I can make it official that I don't care about this year's Superbowl at all. Not even a little.

Sincerely,

Danielle

-----------------

Dear cousin who chose to draw a dick in our wedding guest book,

You could have just written a message. Or not written anything. But no, you had to go above the call of duty. That's okay. We're related now. I have the rest of our lives to dish out payback.

Sincerely,

Your new cousin.

...p.s. The fact that it was a photo guest book kinda blew your cover.