Monday, January 28, 2013

Dont lick the glue on your short letters; you might get a virus...

Two Mondays. Sweet.
Photo by bburky

Dear Charlotte Drivers,

You know that road sign that we all spend, like, 99.5% of the year ignoring? The one that says “Warning: Bridge Freezes Before Roadway”. Oh, how funny it is in the summer when it’s 102 degrees and you drive by. Well it was made for days like Friday. That bridge? It’s frozen. Your brakes? Not the best decision. Get off the road.

Danielle, who learned to drive in a place that gets snow more than once every 2 years
Dear Vet,

While I appreciate you noting on our chart that Jake’s eyes are clear you don’t actually know that. Because Jake is my husband, not my cat. I passed on your reassurances though.

Danielle, the only person who should occasionally confuse Jake & Bonus
Dear Sunday Night Pizza Night,

You are awesome. I grew up with you and now you are a staple in IJ & my house. Let’s be friends always.

Danielle, who loves NY style w/pepperoni & mushrooms so very much
Dear IJ,

Thank you for going clothes shopping with me yesterday. And thank you for acting like you liked the dress with the pink cats all over it that we both knew I was going to try on. And for not rolling your eyes when I bought it. Mostly, thank you for knowing that all of this is the crazy you picked and not trying to change it.

D, who is lucky
Dear Fabulous Lady Cousins,

Thank you for letting Daddy and Chickadee visit you and play with your tiny babies this weekend (and hopefully in the future). It will inevitably keep them off my back a few years longer.

Danielle, who is currently baby itch-free

…p.s. Also, thank you for drawing a total of no dicks on anything I own. This is apparently hard for some cousins.

1 comment:

  1. You need to take part in a contest for one of the finest websites online.
    I am going to recommend this blog!

    Feel free to surf to my web site: penis