Thursday, September 8, 2011

Mary Poppins had her carpet bag...

You know when you love something even though it is old and worn? The kind of book or garment that any sane person wouldn't look at twice before tossing in the garbage (not even the donation bin, yo).

Meet my purse.

Sure, the fake leather is flaking off and the latch constantly comes unscrewed. That dark spot on the lower left is a cigarette burn from @Blkmarketliver's MCAT celebration (which was about 36 hours after I got the darn thing). But it's bright orange and has just the right pockets so I hang onto it.

Today, I saw that Alice was doing an investigation of the contents of HER purse, and I couldn't help but be enamored with the idea. Old Orange-y is quite the black hole. Who knows what might be inside it. So, I figured I would follow her lead and give y'all a peek.

Click for embiggening.

1. Two pens. Well techinically one pen and one orange Sharpie pen. Two pens.
2. My keys, with their billion discount cards and Hokie tail. When my parents got a key made for their new house I asked them to choose a blank that had a colored plastic head. They chose to get me an extra large Winnie the Pooh themed model. Thanks, mom.
3. There are sunglasses there. I promise.
4. Glasses case. It has a Yelp name tag stuck to the back, but other than that, not terribly interesting.
5. My life.
6. Orange leather wallet I picked up for $10 at an after Christmas sale. See, it matches the purse. Perfect.
7. In ancient times I hear that these were called checkbooks. For some reason I carry mine with me.
8. Unredeemed Broken Social Scene download card I picked up months ago at Starbucks. Guess I didn't want that song so badly after all.
9. Yelp mints with real peppermint oil.
10. 3 Cottonwood Pumpkin bottlecaps. Yeah, that doesn't seem bad at all. I can explain. We collect caps in a decorative vase. I was going to put them in the vase. Yeah, this isn't helping.
11. 2 stickers for my friends' band, Secret Hospital. Rock out!
12. A 10-pack of batteries. Oh, that might explain some of that extra weight. It's good to know that if a Wii party breaks out spontaneously I'll be ready to keep the motes operational.
13. 53 receipts. Yeah, I have no response to this. I started pulling them out and when I got to around twenty it just became embarrassing. 53, y'all. ::shakes head::
14. Beer roster from the NY TAP festival from 2010. Johnny and I went and had a dang good time. It makes me smile when I rifle through it.
15. Moleskin notebook.
16. Complete Besta catalog leaflet. We were at IKEA last week and I needed hands...to help put a Besta on the cart.
17. Pamphlets for, in order: Carmax Service for IJs car, the Mebane, NC Tanger Outlets, cat vitamins, and our cat groomer. I like to have the cat groomer's info on me at all times. *crazy cat lady*
18. Takeout menus from La Shish Kabob (my falafel place) and Smashburger.
19. Miscellaneous financial documents. There are some pay stubs, junk about my student loans that I needed to fax the gov't, and a letter from my landlord letting me know I overpaid him by 50 bucks in February.
20. Volunteer application that I faxed out months ago for a company I have already completed some volunteering with. I think it's safe to say they got it when I sent it. Probably can toss the copy.
21. Pretties by Scott Westerfeld with a copy of my grad school transcript and my airline tickets back from Chicago jammed in it. If you haven't read the Uglies series you should get on that stat. Even my cold, hard, non-YA reading heart loves it.
22. Gift card to National Sandwichery that Indie Jake got me as a combination part-of-my-birthday/eat-some-dang-lunch present.
23. Sponsorers list from the June Yelp Elite event. I swear I peruse this everyday, Nicole. Swear it! (I lie.)
24. Offer for an extended warranty on IJ's car. Apparently I just shove junk mail in my purse now.
25. Recipe for Spicy Shrimp and Grits. Because everything is better spicy. I might just learn to be southern yet...nah.
26. Coupon for a free pair of Gap jeans from the Pico de Gap-o truck at 20sb Summit. I refuse to use this until I lose the 10 lbs I put on this summer. Looks like I have until November, thighs.
27. Anti-baby pills.
28. Concert tickets that I always remember to save but never remember to store. Also, I forgot to number my lighter but it is that red thing hanging out with the tickets. For all my power ballad appreciating needs.
29. Black plastic knife. I don't know why I have this in there either. Maybe in case I need to ward off a very wimpy or hemophiliac attacker.
30. 2 paperclips. We are being thorough here, okay.
31. Watermelon gum.
32. Car clicker battery. It wasn't actually the battery that was the problem. Dang.
33. Advil & Tylenol Cold. I get headaches fairly frequently so I like to keep something on hand. Also useful for blogging conferences when everyone in the room had a leetle too much fun the night before.
34. Not candy. I actually just keep my change in an old Altoids Sours container for quick access.
35. My business cards from the 20sb Summit. Good times had by all.
36. Loose business cards for other folks, 3 of which are for my friends, one is for a chocolate shop in town, one is a PR firm, and one is for honey (but not the kind cheap enough to use as a mask).
37. Pin for Indie Jake's college band Tripleside. There is a long, cute-ish story involved in why I keep this in my purse but that is a story for another time. For now just know that they were awesome. Drop me an email I'll burn you a CD.
38. Pretty little compact mirror. Both mirrors have unglued from the case and are chipped so it's kinda hard to see in them.
39. Tub of Carmex I have had since 2008. F'real. I don't use a lot of Carmex (but I like it).
40. Teal Sharpie that I used to need at work but that we couldn't order individually. IJ gave me this one because the one I had in my desk was running out. He's a sweet man.
41. It's a tampon. I'm a girl. Get over it. Moving on.
42. Charlotte Area Transit Authority (CATS) transfers. How awesome is it that our public transport is called cats though? So awesome!
43. My shoes. These weren't in my purse but I got a little overzealous with the numbering. Sorry.

I'd like to point out that all the junk in my purse barely fits on my coffee table. This is probably not good. I'm thinking I need to keep a better handle on what I throw in there.



...as it is I think I'm approching an event horizon.

1 comment:

  1. haha, 53 receipts?!?! that's hilarious. and awesome. mostly hilarious :)

    ReplyDelete