Monday, August 15, 2011

Hey, did you know these couches aren't cat hair-colored after all?...

Let's play a guessing game. What has four legs, two heads, a vacuum cleaner and makes me want to tear my hair out?

If you guessed "Daddy and Dahling visiting for the weekend" then you are absolutely correct. You can pick up your prize, a years supply of Suneeco Hooting Oil, in the lobby on the way out.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents really I do, but it is a fact, unchanging and true that my mother and I can't spend more than about 3 hours together before we butt heads. Generally at high decible levels and using language that would make a sailor blush. I'm not proud of it and as I get older I have come to terms with the fact that it is mostly because we are very similar. Still, it is not fun, particularly since Indie Jake has had a rather mellowing effect on my temper at all other times.

There was a fight this weekend. One loud enough to send Daddy scurrying for the guest room to hide. But, as usual, it was much like a summer storm: as short-lived as it was violent.

Once squabbling was off the agenda we could get down to truly important things...and by that I mean my mother presenting me with "some things they found when they were unpacking after their move". Let me make perfectly clear that this means that not only did she encounter these things but she deemed them important enough to move from New Jersey to Delaware, then, when she got to unpacking them, important enough to bring 8 hours to me because I would want them.

"So what did she bring?", you ask. "Surely they must be of great value to you. Heirlooms? Books? Photos?"

No, my friends. Dahling's treasures consisted of a pink afro wig I wore as a troll for halloween when I was 7, a witch hat and wig I wore some time in middle school, and an under-bed shoe organizer that she has tried to force on me 4 separate times (unsuccessfully I might add).

It makes me wonder what "gems" made it into the 3 dumpsters they actully disposed of in the move.

...but damn, the pet hair attachment on that vacuum they brought works well. Probably could have even picked up synthetic pink afro hairs.

No comments:

Post a Comment