What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?
Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
The drowned during spring training.
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
3, one to change the lightbulb and 2 to argue about who was a fan of changing lightbulbs first, before it was popular.
what did the pirate say about the steering wheel he kept in his pants?
Arggh, it's driving me nuts.
What is the official title of Santa's elves?
Where did the on legged waitress work?
A city slicker was driving down the road when he noticed a local farmer broken down on the shoulder. He pulled over to give the man a jump. The farmer was so thankful that he offered to give the city slicker one of his sheep as a reward. At first the city slicker was reluctant but when the farmer assured him it was a good investment he agreed.
They went to the farm and the farmer told him to pick out any sheep he wanted. The city slicker looked around for several minutes and decided on the animal he wanted. He put it in the car and drove away.
Three months later he came back angry as all getout. He complained to the farmer that it had grown no wool and the butcher he went to would not even buy it from him.
The farmer looked at him and began to laugh.
"Sure" he said. "Go ahead and pick a better sheep, but in the mean time, can you give me back my dog?"
...no, they aren't that funny, but if you want better jokes leave them in the comments yourself.