Saturday, September 11, 2010

Write a letter, it'll last longer...

So the reason why I have been kinda noticeably absent from this space lately is because I finally found a job. One that doesn't afford me a lot of time sitting around surfing the net. And when I get home I generally find a very excited kitty who would like to detail the injustice that is having noone home to pet him ALL DAY! Much as I love to blog regularly, I'm okay with a downgrade in posting if it comes in exchange for a paycheck and spending quality loaf around time with my happy little pseudofamily. I'm trying to work out a motivation schedule, so we'll see.

In the mean time, I always have the motivation to punch out some short letters!

Dear Insurance Guy who Came to the Office Yesterday,

There is a difference between overcompensating and just straight up compensating. If you are going to show up without an appointment, standing knee-high to a grasshopper, being kind of obnoxious and not even knowing whether this is our corporate headquarters you could do with a little compensating. A lilac shirt is the opposite of that. Man up a touch.

Sincerely,
Dani
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Dear Pumpkin Flavored Everything,

Lilu may be on record as hating the very fiber of your soul, but I think you are the bees knees. Especially you Cottonwood Pumpkin Spiced Ale. Why don't you come over here and snuggle for a touch. I promise I'll be gentle.

Sincerely,
Dani
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Dear Everyone Who Makes Tramp Stamp Jokes About Other People to Me,

You don't know it, but I'm not laughing with you, I'm trying not to punch you in the face. One day I will fail.

Sincerely,
Dani
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Dear Bonus,

I know my necklace is shiny and you think it's a food, but stop trying to eat Jesus! Not cool. I don't want you bringing divine wrath down on this house.

Sincerely,
Mom
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Dear Fall,

You have always been good to me. As a less unemployed, less miserable person, I just want to say thanks.

Sincerely,
Dani
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Dear Yelp!

Charlotte Elite Squad, eh? I think you think I'm a lot classier and less cheap than I actually am. Whatever. Let's see if we can't make this the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Sincerely,
Dani



...P.S. Thanks for the legit excuse to visit more bars.

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