Tuesday, August 24, 2010

There are only two in there so i'm assuming PennDOT sent a troll to eat the third...

According to Google Analytics, in the last month 7 visits to this site have come from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Six of those visits were from the town in which I used to live. To the visitors from PA, let me say that the following point should not be taken as a reflection on your land as a whole. As a person who comes from New Jersey, quite possibly the most oft-mocked state in the Union, I understand how this might get your bristles up. I know I am not always the nicest to Pennsylvania, but that is for my own capital P Personal reasons. Pennsylvania is a lovely place. Go visit it some time.

That being said, PennDOT is the most awful, hateful organization on the whole of planet Earth.

No, I am not exaggerating.

Back when I did live in PA, The Ex and I had a running joke that no matter when you got on a highway or which highway it was, you would find that PennDOT had oh so thoughtfully placed out a bunch of cones blocking a lane or rerouting traffice, but never once had they bothered to employ anyone to actually do roadwork. They just came around and set out cones for a while, then came back a week or so later and picked them up to be deposited elsewhere.

I am still not sure this is entirely untrue, however, it is no longer my biggest issue with PennDot. You see I am of the opinion that they are currently on a mission to singlehandedly decrease the world population. On my drive up to Jersey I encountered some construction that, in addition to establishing the most ludicrous combination of traffic lanes ever conceived, decided that lanes dont really need to be as wide a vehicles. No sir, not at all. Oh did I mention that the road it is on is a truck route? And that I was driving through it at 5 am? My life does not make a very good slideshow, particularly not when set to the mental soundtrack of "Jesus, Take the Wheel".

On my way back down to NC, I was unsurprised to hit several patches of traffic due to closed lanes, but I was also impressed to note that PennDOT have also set up some kind of arrangement with the weather gods. Apparently, no matter what the weather is doing before or after a construction zone in Pennsylvania, the actual work zone will experience torrential rain. Seriously, if these PennDOT guys subcontract with Satan, I had better start saying my rosaries now.

While (completely) stopped at one of these cone-filled monsoons, I happened to glance up at the bed of the pickup in front of me. This is what I saw:

...oh Pennsylvania, 10 points for surprise but what did those poor goats ever do to you?

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