Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stop, oh yes, wait a minute, mister postman...

Ok, radio silence has gone on long enough. To get back in the swing of things, and because gosh darn it I feel like it, let’s have some short letters!

Dear TAP NY,

You were phenomenal. So many tasty beers and delicious barbequed meats. Such an adorable tiny beer glass. I get the feeling we will meet again.

Sincerely,
Dani

Xc: Anyone in the NY tri-state area who likes a good brew.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Whoever Decided to Put Towns & Ski Resorts & Beer Festivals up on Top of Hunter Mountain,

You are clinically insane. Did you see that road you had to build that makes the driver think they are surely going to die before reaching the top? God doesn’t want people up there! Get yourself to your nearest Mental Health Services center ASAP.

Sincerely,
Dani
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear the Political Lobbyist Posing as a Small Business Association Rep that Came into Work and Got My Boss All Riled Up in Republican Soap-Box Mode the Other Day,

There is a special place in Hell for you.

Sincerely,
Dani
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sean, the GPS Voice in My Phone,

I’m sorry I yell at you so much. I know you just want to make sure I don’t go the wrong way. But seriously, I got it, turn left.

Sincerely,
Dani

P.S. I love it when you tell me to “Take the Motorway” in your delightful brogue. ::awkward purr::
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Funny People,

No Adam Sandler movie should be 2.5 hours long, even if it does have Seth Rogan in it to distract me with his sexiness.

Sincerely,
Dani
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Masters Degree,

One more friggin’ week and it will be over. This is my sad face…no really it is…okay, no it’s not.

Sincerely,
Dani
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear The Wire,

What I have learned from the 2.5 episodes I watched with my girls the other day is that money should always be carried in a large black garbage bag; the more likely to tear the better. I had been under the impression that one should use a wallet or perhaps an envelope. Thanks for letting me know I was doing it wrong.

Sincerely,
Dani



…although seriously, y’all should maybe consider switching to ForceFlex®.

2 comments:

  1. HAHA love it Dani! Especially your yell at Sean. I yell at my garmin all day long, it's no wonder it always tells me the wrong places to go!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I imagine an awkward purr is rather sexy

    ReplyDelete