Thursday, February 25, 2010

TMI Thursday: hey lady, your vanilla is showing...

As LiLu always says:
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
TMI Thursday
In this great tradition, I present you with a story you probably never wanted to hear. If you really need to continue to have a good impression of me, are related to me in any way, or are easily skeeved out I suggest you go else where right now...inmediatamente!***

I guess this story kind of qualifies as a TMI Thursday story, and since it is after all Thursday I figure why not, but mostly I feel like this is the way to get out of my posting laziness because of some quality TKOG I was just catching up on.

Go read that, learn why it is sometime better not to say anything nice at all even if you do have something nice to say, then come back. I’ll wait.

You back? Good.

First, y’all should know that outside my little posse that I’ve introduced ‘round here, I have some pretty interesting friends. This particular tale involves one of such friends who has some rather interesting proclivities. Proclivities that lie in the camps of polyamory and BDSM. Not my bag, but it doesn’t have to be. It does, however, mean I have a working knowledge of such things to the point where I can freak out acquaintances with delicate sensibilities.

A few months ago back before the time of cold and snow; I was over at this fellow’s house hanging out and talking geekdom with three of his other friends. I had previously met one of them, but the other two were brand new to me.

I tend to make it a habit, when I meet new folks that I need to get along with, to toss out a compliment. Gets the ball rolling on the right foot and softens them up so they may not notice that I’m actually not a people person. With guys this can be tricky, but with girls there is an almost surefire solution. Jewelry.

“Oh, I love your earrings/ring/bracelet made of teeth/necklace!”

Usually, since they are wearing it, they also love it and will tell you about why or if it has any special meaning. I’m just as guilty if you were to ask about the one piece of jewelry I wear.

So, while chatting with the lady among the 3 I noticed she was wearing a solid polished silver necklace. It was unique enough to hold conversational promise and I honestly did think it was attractive. I saw my in and I took it.

“By the way, I love your necklace. It’s really pretty.” (Yes, I really am that banal)


Not just from her, but from the rest of the room. And the silence was accompanied by stares at me…and then chuckling.

And then obvious topic changing.

I was at a loss. How had my surefire, standby technique failed me? What had I done wrong?

The answer came to me after the three of them left when I asked my buddy what the deal had been.

Apparently, there is just no other way to respond when the oblivious, vanilla girl compliments someone on their BDSM collar.

…working knowledge fail.


  1. Oh my god, AWKWARD!!! That is truly hilarious though. :)

  2. oh man this made my otherwise crappy day a little more smileridden (what?)

    so change it to
    "Oh, I love your earrings/ring/bracelet made of teeth/necklace/kinky collar!”