Thursday, November 5, 2009

I promised y'all tmi thursday and here it is, in all its wretched glory...

TMI Thursday

In LiLu's great tradition, I present you with a story you probably never wanted to hear. If you really need to continue to have a good impression of me, are related to me in any way, or are easily skeeved out I suggest you go else where now...like right now...inmediatamente!

Okay, folks.  So this is my very first TMI Thursday and if experience had taught me a damn thing I would attack the loss of my TMIT virginity full force and get it over with quickly, but no no, I'm a very slow learner indeed so I'm going to start with a gross but not terribly personal story that most of the readers who actually know me have already heard.  It's definitely too much information though.

It all started, like so many gross stories before it, when our friend in the dorm room across from ours invited my roommate and I to an off campus party.  We did not have the most active social lives and this sounded like a good time so we quickly accepted.  A few hours later, all three of us were on the bus over.

It went down pretty typically for a college party (that is to say Sprites and thought provoking conversation...right? Right!)  but somehow when it was time to leave my roommate and I were both pretty darn alcohol enabled.  No problem, we took the bus remember.

Cue us waiting at the bus stop for 30 minutes.

Apparently the buses had stopped running for the night (ah, BT, the things that have come of y'all being out of service for the night). Shit.

Okay, well, still no problem, the girl across the hall (who was not drunk but for some reason allowed us to wait like assholes for the bus) borrowed her friend's truck and drove all three of us back to campus.

Now, my roommate and I had left our beds bunked to optimize space and immediately upon entering the room, she collapsed on the bottom bunk, which happened to be mine, and proceeded to simultaneously pass out and vomit.

Great.

I couldn't move her, so, like any concerned friend, I turned her face away from her puke, figured I'd deal with this in the morning and proceeded to attempt to climb up into her bed. This task was not made any easier by her computer being on her desk (which was my principal climbing platform) or by me being super clumsy even when not at all alcohol enabled. It took me four, painful, bruise-inducing tries to get up there, but I finally made it. At which point I too began to feel a rumbling in my tummy. The way I saw it, I had two options. i could either attempt to climb down and make it to the sink only to be faced with the same perilous climb I had just made again or I could stay where I was and deal with twice as much nausea-covered bedding in the morning. Im not proud of my decision to sleep next to a pile of my own puke, but at least I didn't end up with a broken leg.



...fyi, you can never fully get vomit out of a Care Bear, no matter how many times you wash it.

8 comments:

  1. Oh my lord. Coincidentally, the lady who I let guest post for me today- once puked in the bed beside my head. I woke up and she had moved to the couch, and my mouth was about 2 inches from digesting her puke.

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  2. I'm glad that both of you vomited on each other's beds. Now that's roommate love.

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  3. I've been there.

    I've done that.

    Since I was normally the taller room mate, I would take topsies. I didn't mind.

    One night, that five foot climb seemed too much. I looked at my bed, at my room mate sleeping blissfully below, and said "eff this" and passed out on his couch.

    I made it down the hall before I chundered, though.

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  4. @carissa: I'm thinking proper etiquette there would have been to wake you up and offer you the couch, but then you'd have to move so who knows. They dont really cover that in Emily Post.

    @phampants: It was being equal impositions on each other that made us such good roomies for 3 years. Well that and the fact that I adore her more than pie.

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  5. @mjenks: Oh how I wish there had been a couch option.

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  6. haha care bear took one for the team

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  7. The floor is nice in such situations. If you're drunk enough, it feels like a pillowtop mattress.

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  8. I really WOULDN'T have wanted to be a Care Bear on that night. Hahaha.

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