Because in a really delicious fruit salad all the little bits of different fruits work in concert to create something that can only be described as “om nom” (can you tell I skipped lunch today?) This is actually going to be more like when you accidentally run a squirrel through a wood chipper, but you know what, it’s Friday and this bitch is phoning it in on coherence.
• Do you remember that time when the bodega owner told me I reminded him of his wife? Well apparently there is just something about my face that induces middle-aged, middle-eastern (and other middles as well), convenience store workers to compare me to their female relatives. While having a bit of a damsel-in-distress moment last night, which y’all may well hear about next week, I managed to take a bit of a slice off my finger. The clerk inside the gas station I was at offered me a band-aid (probably so I would stop bleeding all over his bathroom). I thanked him, because I am Junior League-level polite and appreciative, and he responded, “Is no problem, you’re like my sister.” At least this time I wasn’t told that I had no blood. I was just told to not drip it on the counter.
• When did the double space after a period go out of style?! Wikipedia tells me that it is the fault of word processors. I find this to be trash…just saying.
• November starts on Sunday, and because we all know just how well I do at following through on goals, I’ve decided that I should do NaBloPoMo, which should theoretically mean that there is new content here at some point every day. At least, that is its manifest meaning. What it latently means is that by the middle of the month I will probably be scrambling for content like it was canned rutabagas and The Weather Channel just announced a hurricane. I have come up with a combat plan though. Because six days a week is easier than seven days a week (but not nearly as catchy as Eight Days a Week), I’m instituting participation in Lilu’s TMI Thursdays. You may not think you care, but you do. Particularly if you know me. Particularly-er if I know you will eventually forgive me.
• As I mentioned on Twitter, Daddy and Dahling are going to see Avenue Q for their anniversary on Sunday. I do not begrudge them humor, but I am not so sure this is the best decision based on two things: a) Chickadee felt the need to call me away from making dinner a few months ago to enlighten me, with shock, that there may infact be pornography on the internet. Wait, what was that ragingly popular song from Avenue Q again? b) I asked Chickadee if she knew anything about the show. Sure, she said. But this is the same woman who said she knew what Rent was about…she most certainly did not. I look forward to this review.
As for tomorrow (which obviously needs addressing because I adore Halloween), I will be bringing my level of tasteless to previously unforeseen places. I only hope that the pigeons don’t take a liking to the raspberry preserves on The Gentleman’s head.
…oh well, at least I won’t get stuck to a Katamari this year.