Dumbdog, being close to the ground, has a relatively limited number of things which he can investigate and I’m pretty sure that in the last 7 months he has learned about all there is to learn about most of the stuff down there. There is, however, one thing that constantly contains new stimuli…the bathroom trash. And he has taken to nosing through (and occasionally trying to eat) it. For this reason, the bathroom door is kept closed.
Johnny is a fairly low maintenance guy. He decided a while ago that, as a low maintenance guy, he did not need to continue to pay someone else to cut his hair. Au contraire! He could buy a razor and do it himself. And this, for the most part (with the exception of the time he tried to get me to help him and we discovered that despite having more hair than a normal family of 4, I am not, by any means, a stylist), has worked out just fine. Every month or so, he shears himself for the cost of the power to run the razor.
Tuesday, upon meeting Johnny at the bar, I noticed a distinct lack of his usual, salt-and-pepper sideburns peeking out from under a baseball cap. Further investigation revealed that he was actually sporting a haircut that can best be described as “newly enlisted”.
Apparently, while he was engaged in his regular trim, Dumbdog had wandered through the open bathroom door and begun munching on the trash. While Johnny was shooing him away, the comb attachment fell off the razor. Upon, returning to the task at hand, Johnny shaved a strip like a damn crop circle right down the center of his head. The effect was undeniably irreparable, so he decided to just buzz the rest off.
There is probably some kind of lesson about paying attention that should follow from this, but I’m going to choose instead, “If your dog eats trash, go to a barber.”
…and no that isn't the dog's drink. He's underage.