Tuesday, July 7, 2009

My résumé brings all the hr reps to the yard…

I, like many (many, many, many, many, MANY!) other people I know, am currently on the hunt for a new job. You know, one where I can get a proper number of hours and (and I know this is asking a lot) maybe use some of the skills that I picked up in college and the first half of my masters. Because while my typing did improve due to paper writing, I’m pretty sure I could have just bought a Mavis Beacon (does “she” still even exist?) cd for that and saved a lot of time and money.

In anticipation of the potential backlash that I already feel creeping up on me, yes, I know I am lucky to have a job and not be one of the millions of unemployed folks who are out there. I am grateful for my job. I was also grateful for my baby teeth…doesn’t mean I can’t upgrade.

So, as of late, I have been doing many of the things that one is advised to do when on the hunt for sparkly new employ. I updated my resume. I routinely troll the job boards, both general and specialized. I’ve been chatting with folks who might have an IN to throw my way. You know, the standard MO.

But hold up friends, this is the modern age! The age where the internet can make or break you. And really, ::points back at the archives:: I’m thinking I’m probably more in the “Break” category. So I’ve also been doing things like restricting access to my social networking pages and closing accounts for stuff online I don’t (or never did) use. As part of this process, today I decided to Google search my name as if I were a potential HR person trying to discover if the job candidate is a total whacko. Here’s what I found…

I have been fairly effective in keeping my online gallivanting contained. Neither my twitter nor this shit show my blog showed up. In fact, most of the links (that were actually referencing me, not some chick in the middle of the country or in Europe) came from one of two sources: a poem I wrote in 8th grade or one specific book review.

The poem is straight garbage (much like the second verse). This should not be surprising. I can own its craptacularity. I submitted it to a contest because, at the time, I fancied myself a poet. Go ahead and judge, but if you do it means I get to mock you for your misconceptions at 13.

The book review, while rather benign and positive, is problematic on two counts. One is that the book discussed religion so the review was quoted on a bunch of anti-religious communities. But hey, whatever. I read it and put my opinion of the writing out there. For me the more troubling issue is the second one. There is a typo in it.

…maybe I should have bought the Mavis Beacon cd after all.

1 comment:

  1. Clearly, your online persona could use a little work.