Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Outlook is generally sunny with a 95% chance of me saying something dumb...

I have a fairly strongly empirically supported issue with using idioms and turns of phrase. The most easily brought to memory examples are “green means light”, which was my unfortunate attempt to draw a friend’s attention to the fact that the traffic light had changed (and that the green light meant go) and “Cake cannot be both possessed and consumed”…which you can figure out on your own and I’m pretty sure makes me sound like English is my second language.

In addition to a propensity for screwing phrases up, I tend to use ones that I THINK are common knowledge but instead just get me stared at and asked if I have recently hit my head. (“Lord willing and the creek don’t rise” being the most common offender in this category) For these reasons, I’m not really a huge fan of buying into other peoples’ quirky words to live by.

“Oh, you bumbling idiot, what does all this have to do with anything?” you may ask. And that is a fair question because the answer is not much really except that the reason I have been so lax in my posting lately is that I’ve been hopelessly lost on figuring out what some recent events in my actual life are all about…and I am not so silly as to publicly post about them before doing so.

Well, technically I’m not going to post about them after doing so either.

But from this figuring I am going to “bravely” cast off my cautious avoidance of idioms and file it all under:

If you receive a citrus delivery, you should store it in a diluted and more palatable form.

…just call me Minute Maid. Actually, that seems like a bad idea. Please don’t.

1 comment:

  1. green means light! that's my favorite danielle-ism ever!