Friday, March 20, 2009

I don't think this was the type of letter the boxtops were talking about...

While I know that brief thoughts are really the domain of Twitter (and I have come to love my Twitter very much….which sounds a bit odd), I do believe that it is time for another series of short letters.

Dear Spring,

Cait put it best. You are a “cold-hearted bitch”. I should not be able to transition to my short sweats one day and then wake up two days later to snow on the ground. Get on some Lithium and pull yourself together!

Sincerely,
Danielle

(Clearly I hold myself to high standards of fashion.)
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Dear Idiot Who was Backing down the Shoulder of Route 46 this Morning,

You hurt my brain. There is a cloverleaf 150 feet in front of you. Use it.

Sincerely,
Danielle (and probably every other driver on the road)
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Dear Momversation.com,

I shouldn’t like you. I don’t have kids. I don’t even really like kids. I shouldn’t like you, but I do. I’m working on reconciling that but in the mean time please continue to tell me what y’all think about parenting issues I would never have even thought of.

Sincerely,
Danielle
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Dear Cheese,

Just when I think I can control my desires for one form of you, I find another that is even more amazing and delicious. Well played.

Sincerely,
Danielle
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Dear Solitary,

You are very clearly the most sadistic show ever. You lock nine people in isolation pods and eliminate them through painful Treatments. I hate myself for having watched all of Season One. Also, Cliff is an ass.

Sincerely,
Danielle

Xc: Hulu.com (for reasons of facilitation)
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Dear Archduke Ferdinand,

You just HAD to take the convertible didn't you? Thanks. No really, World War I was a hoot.

Sincerely,
Danielle
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Dear Self,

You have clearly just combined the blogging styles of I Hate Everything and This May Concern You. Get some originality.

Sincerely,
Danielle



...I get the feeling some of these addresses may be unlisted.

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