Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I’m pretty sure this takes passive-aggressive gift giving to a new level..

Up until yesterday, if you had asked me to guess what percentage of holiday shoppers agreed with the following rule, I’m pretty sure I would have answered 100%. No that’s not true. I would have stared at you like you were completely insane and ridiculous for even coming up with such a rule…cause its common sense.

Rule: If something came out the back end of a living thing, it is NOT eligible to be part of a Christmas gift.

I mean, I have heard over-enthusiastic owners refer to their pet’s business as “leaving a present”, but that too is dumb, and even if it weren’t I think (read: hope) that they don’t actually consider it a gift.

This, however, is a product that is meant to be paid for, shipped to you and then given to your nearest and dearest as an expression of your relationship and affection. I, personally, tend to terminate relationships that can best be symbolized by old elephant crap.

And I really don’t want to hear, “It’s environmentally friendly!”, because you know what, we have enough things that will not naturally biodegrade that we should be figuring out how to recycle. We do not need to help poo recycle, it does it well enough on its own…ask anyone who has ever driven past a freshly fertilized field.


…and if this was really necessary, they could have at least used reindeer.

2 comments:

  1. Seriously. What the crap? (Literally, as well!)

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  2. Just think... someone had to go out there and COLLECT the stuff before it was even made into something people could purchase. Um... lovely.

    Also reminds me of the crappy Secret Santa gift someone got today. Price was supposed to be around $15, and most of the week people have been leaving their gifts discreetly for other people. Today, a girl I work with got her gift. What was it? A single votive candle sitting on her desk with a Post-It, "Happy Holidays, from your Secret Santa". Too bad she recognized the handwriting...

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