Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It was this or a post about those stupid "i'm a pc" ads...

I feel a bit like I should apologize for not having had anything amusing to post here for a while, but “ohmyGod I’m sorry I haven’t posted in so long!!!!” posts give me scary flashbacks to xanga, and also, no one who might read this gives a crap if I post regularly. Truth is, I haven’t been able to get my ducks in a funny enough row to bother y’all with… be grateful for the lack of filler.

What finally did strike me as ridiculous enough to blog about was actually rousted from the underbelly of my mind by a rather inappropriate post (very very loosely inspired) and a less than pleasant wake-up this morning. When my alarm went off this morning I did what I know damn well I should not do…I turned it off and rolled over for “another five minutes” (now I know that alarm clocks have this neat little button that allows you another NINE minutes and then wakes your ass up, but that is far too simple for me). An hour later (and 25 minutes before I am supposed to be at work) I woke up again, cursed a stream that would usually make even ME blush, jumped out of bed, and immediately, at full force, slammed my toe into my dresser. Poor move indeed.

The point of all this is that there was no way that I was going to go jam my foot right into my heels and sprint off. I left the house ten minutes later wearing dress slack and Birkenstocks…I felt kinda like I should be thinking of ways to subvert “the man” from the inside. What made it all truly ridiculous though, was that I didn’t have to worry about bringing heels with me cause I knew I had two pair in my car…which brings us to the central idea…It is completely insane how much crap I keep in my car. And I love it.

As of this morning I had with me, just waiting for the opportune use:

Two pair of heels (pink/red, orange)
An extra pair of sweatpants (that live there, they are my car sweatpants)
A bathing suit and towel
A box of 5 special K bars (cause eats on the run are crucial)
A portable CD player
A wooden statue of Buddha
A roll of paper towels (incase the real towel didn’t suit my fancy)
A packing blanket
A case of water (minus 5 bottles)
Directions to any number of places
2 golf balls

…and I’m sure there is some other stuff I can’t remember

There was a time a few years ago that I was home so infrequently that I pretty much did have to live for days at a time with what was in my car, but that is not now. And yet somehow, I am a one woman gypsy caravan of crap…useful crap for the most part (using “most” liberally)…but crap none the less. But I’m happy about it. My car and I have a bizarre relationship and I must say nothing puts a smile on my face like spending a few hours alone on the road in that sty with my stereo set to 30.

…special k bar?


  1. I'm far more concerned about the bathing suit and towel. It's fucking November.

  2. Before I went on a cleaning rampage a few months ago, my car was home to a pogo stick, two BB guns, a vacuum, at least three sweaters, a pair of fairy wings, a scarf, gloves, mittens, a hat, I <3 The '80s board game, a sudoku book, a tiny anvil, a collection of dinosaur stickers... I know there had to be more... but yeah, I think Buddah there still has me beat.

    - Cait

  3. Shit, I spelled Buddha wrong. FAIL.