Friday, May 30, 2008

Where's the giant frogs index?...

I truly believe indecisiveness and the transfer of useless information have reached a new level.

I went on to see what the weather was going to be like this evening and tomorrow morning and while checking if I must click on the 5-day to get tomorrow’s weather I came across section I had never before encountered…Lifestyle Weather.


So I click on it. I am instantly transported to a page with a number of pretty meter-style graphics. Hey they have the pollen index… and the air quality index… and the UV index… and the Barbeque index? Here, to be thorough is a list of all the indexes:

Arthritis Index brought to us by the Arthritis Foundation
Air Quality Index
UV Index
Pollen Index
Barbeque Index brought to us by Weber
Mosquito Index
Lawn Index (for mowing not growing) brought to us by John Deere
Dog Walking Index
Running Index
Frizz Index brought to us by the John Frieda Collection

Now I may be na├»ve, but isn’t the frizz index really just another name for humidity. And what, pray tell, are you going to do if the dog walking index is unfavorable? If the dog stays in methinks the carpet odor index will be through the roof. Most ridiculously, the barbeque index, I’m pretty sure used to be called looking out the window… or possibly, the standard weather report!

Personally, my Bullshit Index has gone through the roof.

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